please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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