On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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