The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
