It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
