i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
