If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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