You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
