The maid of honor just puked.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
