So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
