Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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