I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
