I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
