When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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