her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I checked into jail on foursquare
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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