you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
