i just wanna soil my oats bro
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
