Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
