For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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