Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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