dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
