Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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