If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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