i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
where does the pee come out of this thing
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
