Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Pants are for mortals
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
