I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
