whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
