Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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