Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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