I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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