Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
