WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
