OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
