Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
