i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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