Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
