Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
