You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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