she was so not down for the gang bang
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
