he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
