i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We talked him into tasing himself.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
