Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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