a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I am one with the molecules
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
