Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
