I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
