Yo dont text me then not text me
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
