i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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