I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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