I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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