the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
