I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
