I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
