Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
